I received Really Good F Words written by Lorrie Forde to review through iRead Book Tours. As always, all the opinions shared are my own.
There were two things that affirmed this book and I were going to work out well together. Flipping through it, the first sentence my eyes landed on was: “Self-care is not selfish. It is a healthy practice and essential to our ability to care for those around us.” YES! This is something I am constantly sharing within the Divas With A Purpose community. Delving into something that aligns so well with one of my core values is a great feeling. Second, the author relates self-care to cookies. I’m all the way down for that! My sweet-tooth rejoiced and my inner Cookie Monster said “Yum! Me wants all the cookies!”
In all seriousness, Really Good F Words is truly an interactive guide. There are stories we can all relate to from the author and her clients and friends’ personal experiences, fill-in-the blank questions that get you to really reflect on your feelings and actions when it comes to self-care, group activities to encourage growth, sharing and reflection and personal notes from the author to give additional insight and encouragement.
Let’s be real Divas. As with any resource, you will get out of this book what you put into it. It’s set up to do in a group setting, but you’re able to work through it solo, as well. I am really contemplating introducing this to my face-to-face accountability group here in Columbia, South Carolina to encourage us all to focus more on self-care and filling up our personal cookie jars with really good F words – family, friends, feelings, forgiveness, focus, etc. – in the new year.
Where are you on your priority list? A key question in measuring self-care. Uncover your own customized strategies for moving further up that list as you bring this thought provoking and interactive book to life around your own kitchen table. Connect with friends and get your sense of self back with doable self-care strategies.
Author Lorrie Forde invites you to break all the old rules about not writing in books—this one is yours to write in, reflect back on, and share as you choose. Make it work for you! This is not another thing to add to your ‘to-do’ list. Let the pages do the work and before you know it, you’ll be laughing with friends, reconnecting with your passion, and the envy of your peers as you figure out what ‘feeds you’ and where your ‘weak spots’ are. How long will it take till you’re using “F” words all the time and your cookie jar is overflowing? Analogies like this cookie jar and using really good “F” words help us to laugh at reality and a little laughter really can make all the difference.
Interview With The Author: Lorrie Forde
Lorrie Forde is a professional coach with clients whose interests range from business goals to personal topics and executive responsibilities to organizational strategic planning. She is, also, the author of the best-selling book, Really Good F Words: Your Interactive Guide to Self-Care.
Q: I love the title of your book, Really Good F Words! How did you come up with that name?
A: Thank you—I’m glad the title caught your attention. Initially, the book was born from a self-care workshop I deliver that is titled, “How Full is Your Cookie Jar?” so that was the working title as I began the process that culminated in the book that eventually became, Really Good F Words. It didn’t take too long to see that the evolution of “F Words” (as I’ve fondly come to call it) was so much more than the “Cookie Jar” analogy could support. Shortly before the half way mark of the two years that I spent in research, writing, editing, and eventually publishing I was reviewing my progress with someone from my publisher’s marketing department (Influence Publishing in Vancouver, BC Canada). During that telephone conversation I shared all of my chapter titles with her. One of those titles was Really Good F Words and as soon as I’d said it out loud we both realized it needed to be on the cover! I knew we could use the subtitle to bring context and the opportunity to capitalize on the invitation to engage that this title would present was too great to pass up.
Q: What made you write a book about self-care?
A: Great question! There are actually two parts to this answer. First I need to explain that in addition to authoring this book, I am also a coach. (mountaintopcoaching.ca) My work as a coach provides me with opportunity to do something that is a natural fit for the person that I am. It enables me to easily connect by “be” and my “do”. I firmly believe that no one “needs” a coach but that everybody deserves to have one. Through the pages of Really Good F Words, I’m able to offer the gift of coaching to everyone who reads it. The second part of my answer to this question is that I, like many of us, have lost my balance at times. For me, maintaining a healthy work/life balance is my challenge. In my life I’ve discovered that having the opportunity to learn from other’s experience can make my path that much easier to traverse. Really Good F Words includes some of my own personal story as well as the stories of several others so the reader has that resource to support them as they lean forward into their own lives.
Q: You’re a coach…can you tell us a little more about just what a coach does?
A: My favorite way to describe what I do is to explain that I am a confidential, non-judgmental, thinking partner, who shares my client’s goal(s). As well, I am absolutely confident that my clients have their own best answers inside of them and my job is to help them hear themselves as they uncover those solutions. The skills and framework I provide as a coach support my client in maintaining a forward focused process at the same time as they view their topic/goal/challenge from new perspective(s). I absolutely LOVE my work and the opportunity to spend time with people who choose to be intentional about planning for action that supports their goals and desires leaves me feeling so much gratitude each and every day.
Q: Did you ever get writer’s block? And if so, what did you do to overcome it?
A: Actually, yes I did have one very close encounter with that horrible beast! The good news is that I did overcome it and in the end I have to admit that in a weird sort of way…it was almost a blessing in disguise. It happened fairly early on in my process—about four months in. I’d started my writing with all the enthusiasm that is typical of anyone with a new and exciting project. The ideas and the words were flowing out of me like a waterfall in spring. I was certain that I’d finish ahead of schedule and wondered how I’d ever be able to edit some of this great content out because at the rate I was going it was certain I’d have more than enough to reach my targets! My target was to have between 40,000 and 50,000 words—an easy goal—or so I thought in those early days! It was just past the 10,000 word mark when my block hit and terror took over. I was certain that the well had run dry and there was nothing left in me to give.
What I did about it was to take a good long look at the tattoo I have on the inside of my right wrist—it includes the word “Balance” and was designed to remind me of nature and the importance of simplicity. Several deep breaths and a full six weeks away from any writing for “F Words” resulted in a renewed source of material as my balance was restored.
Q: What have you learned about yourself in the process of writing this book?
A: I’ve always known I had a book in me but, in truth, I might never have gotten it written if not for a long-time friend who actually gifted me with a mastermind workshop that opened the door. Certainly, I had to say “yes” and absolutely, I had to do the work but if not for that initial kick/pressure/invitation, I’m not certain I would have ever gotten round to doing it.
Once I got started into the process though it was a slippery slope and there was no stopping the momentum. By then I knew that I needed to follow through. Initially that need was driven in large part by the external factors such as money spent and people I’d told but in short order the motivators shifted to become more internal. In the end it was those internal motivators like a sense of accomplishment and knowing I was doing work I was born to do and that would make a difference to many were the drivers that kept me going.
Q: In your book you tell readers to “Dream Big!” Why is that?
A: Because I believe that if our dreams don’t scare us (at least a little)…they might not be big enough. It is like anything on a continuum—unless we push past the centre point we are at risk of getting stuck somewhere in the middle. Put another way, I believe that we are often our own worst enemy and negative self-talk can limit us to a life of mediocrity if we don’t push past the edges of our comfort zone.
As I explain in Chapter 22 of my book, Really Good F Words, we often lose sight of our dreams over time. The shift from childhood to becoming an adult can intensify that potentiality and by setting aside some time to identify common elements of our childhood dreams we open the door to a place where we may discover a grown up dream waiting to be achieved. As well, dreaming big means that we’ve always got something to aim for which helps keep us moving in a forward focused direction.
Q: If there is one thing you want readers to remember, what would it be?
A: I am confident that everyone will find their own most important take-away as they make their way through the pages of “F Words”. There are two that stand out for me and that I’d like to draw attention to. The first is that self-care is NOT selfish! The second is to Be Intentional. A dream with a deadline is a goal. Writing Really Good F Words required me to be intentional and there were many deadlines I had to meet before my dream of making it possible for everyone to have a coach in their corner could come true.
You can read others thoughts and views on Really Good F Words by Lorrie Forde on the iRead Book Tours website and enter to win your own copy and a coaching session. (Giveaway ends on December 11th)