It’s very common for a person that is experiencing financial hardship to refer to themselves as being “broke” – meaning not having any money on hand.
Ever wonder where this terminology came from? Many banks in post-Renaissance Europe issued small, porcelain “borrower’s tiles” to their creditworthy customers. Like credit cards, these tiles were imprinted with the owner’s name, his credit limit, and the name of the bank. Each time the customer wanted to borrow money, he had to present the tile to the bank teller, who would compare the imprinted credit limit with how much the customer had already borrowed. If the borrower were past the limit, the teller “broke” the tile on the spot.
Those around me know that I truly dislike using “broke” to describe one’s financial situation. Fellow-blogger, Dietta, of Black Woman Rise, recently did a two part blog entitled “Become Prosperous by Seeing Past Being Broke” that caused me to really reflect on my disdain of the usage of “broke”. My response to the first part of her blog was:
“Those that know me well know that one word I truly despise is “broke” when referring to not having the financial means to do something. Brokenness brings upon a connotation that seems to speak not only to your financial situation, but to your emotional and spiritual well-being as well. Just because you do not have the financial means do something at a particular time, those of the Christian faith believe that God will provide. By relying on Him and claiming, not only financial, but spiritual wealth we can change our mental outlook towards having money in our pockets and bank accounts.”
This time about 4 years ago, my financial situation was terrible, to put it bluntly. I was pregnant with my second child, newly married, recently moved by the military with my new husband, fresh out an expensive custody battle with my oldest son’s father, and unemployed. Combine that with some terrible financial decisions in my early years, I was broke! My financial situation not only affected my spending habits, but my emotional and spiritual well-being. I attributed my well-being with my bank account. This is quite common in our society. Those with debt and financial problems often have more physical and mental ailments that affect their family lives, friendships and careers. I was definitely one of those people.
What changed my situation? My job offered Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It was definitely a life-changer. Not Dave Ramsey and his theories, specifically, but the first step in taking control of my life and viewing finances in a different light. I no longer let my financial status determine my level of happiness. I took some of Dave’s theories and practices and applied them to my finances. Along the way I tweaked them to fit what I wanted to accomplish. I, also, began reading other financial blogs, authors, and articles.
Four years later, I have paid off a huge majority of my debt, increased my credit score to the point where I can qualify for a home loan on my own if necessary, and have a real savings account and emergency fund. I’ve come so far not only in my financial portfolio, but in my emotional, physical and spiritual outlooks. I had to commit my plans to my higher power and ask Him to help me change my spending habits. I’m a black and white kind of girl, so I needed to see for myself the progress (or lack of progress at times) that I was making by using Excel spreadsheets. I had to sacrifice some things for a period of time – hair appointments, cable, lower cell phone plan, eating out. While it was tough, it was definitely worth it when I look at where I was, where I am, and what the future holds.
It was during that time period that I committed to no longer using “broke” to describe my financial situation. It’s a reminder that the amount of money I do or do not have does not control my life.
What about you, Divas?
What financial sacrifices have you made?
Any success stories you’d like to share?
1/19/11 Gratitude List
1. Memories of past struggles
2. Overcoming obstacles
3. A husband who enjoys cooking
4. Unlimited texting plans
5. New projects and new challenges
therealitybuffet says
Michelle, I am going through a situation of feeling “broken” financially. Just trying to figure out how to budget and what changes to make literally gives me a headache. What advice can you give to help your partner understand the severity of the situation and get on board with making a few frugal but not life altering changes?
Michelle says
I’ll be honest – my spouse was not on board with the budgeting aspect at first and most of our income is separated. We have a joint account for household bills, but our personal bills are still mostly his and mine. Sometimes they have to see the benefit before they will fully come on board and sometimes they just don’t get it. If it’s out of your control, don’t stress on it. We can’t change others mindsets. We can pray for them and the situation, leave the rest to Him and impact what we can. If it means changing your actions, then do so. If he wants to eat out, say no thank you I’ve already planned the meal and began cooking for dinner. Pre-plan frugal and free family activities and present him with options – would you rather do A or B versus what do you want to do this weekend? Hope this helps some!
therealitybuffet says
It definitely helps. I will be implementing some changes asap
Michelle says
Get yourself an accountability partner…a mean, stern one 🙂
therealitybuffet says
Funny you should say that………
Michelle says
Thank you ladies! It means so much to know that sharing my experiences is inspiring to others. Kinda takes the sting out of struggle…LOL
Trine says
Michelle,I just came across your blog and I loved this post. I did not know the story of the tile, that was good. My husband and I have also gone through financial struggles and I contribute a lot of it to the way we budget our money or lack of. I am on the road and want to share with you this year as we are both committed to finally committing to becoming financially free. Can't wait to share more with you.
Dietta says
Oh wow Michelle this was an awesome post! You know I have known for a very long time that many of us are going through or have been through some very deep and challenging financial situations. The things that I write about this topic come from lessons I have learned as I study the subject of wealth and prosperity. I just believe God wants to heal black women and our finances. Your story is so inspiring! Like I know in my heart Black Women Rise…we fall down but we get back up again!
ShayShay says
Thanks for sharing this! I've been trying to understand the emotional aspect of my spending. I write what I bought, how I felt then, and how I feel about it now. I have a fluctuating income and it's up to me to be careful with it 🙂
Michelle says
Thanks for the positive words ladies!Susie, best wishes to you in your financial journey. It's definitely not easy, but celebrate each small success. It makes the process so much easier and alleviates some of the stress.
Susie McCray says
I can totally relate to your story. Unfortunately, I'm on my second (maybe third) time attempting to get in control of my financial situation. As you did, I have created a spreadsheet to detail my income and spending habits. I must say that it is sad but I am improving.Thanks for providing an example of someone that has been where I am but has improved their situation.
lvnlifewthboys says
I use that word a lot. but because of how you broke it down…well I am 'broke'. I have been thru a lot these past 2yrs. and I am happy for going thru what i went thru because I found a job. I would of never went out lookin for a job because I was content being a housewife. But with this adventure, I found new friends and a joy for what I do and even tho I'm still "broke", I can see the growth of getting out of that. Maybe once I am not in that "broke" mentality I can be nicer to my friends and not put them in the corners. LOL! Love ya girl and ya blog is awesome.
Martha Giffen says
Thanks for sharing your story. Very inspiring! I don't use that word either. I also don't like the word "cheap." It's all attitude. What you think determines how you act.