Inside Out Beauty: Teaching Our Children The Importance of Self-Love

Inside Out Beauty

You’ve got that DIVAtude from the inside out…not the outside in.
The wonderful beautiful person that you are on the inside is what enhances the outer beauty you have!
Embrace it!!!

 I wrote those words to a fellow diva this past week who was struggling with some changes she’d made to her appearance. I read on another blogger’s site this weekend on how we program ourselves and our children from birth as to what is considered “beautiful” or “pretty”. It hurts my heart when I see young children who lack self-confidence. At a young age, the only way they can NOT have it is because the adults around them are not promoting. Think about it, who first told you how beautiful and smart you were? If you struggle with low self-esteem and self-image, where did you first get the ideals as to what was and was not “pretty”?

Inside Out Beauty: Teaching Our Children The Importance of Self-Love


As a parent, I try my hardest to instill self-confidence in my children. Not in regards to their physical attributes, but to what’s inside them. I want them to know that they are beautiful beings from the inside out and not the outside in. The most beautiful looking person can have the ugliest heart and attitude. However, someone that may not have the physical attributes that most of society deems as pretty can have the most wonderful and beautiful spirit. Who would you want to be around?
 Inside Out Beauty | Divas With A PurposeI am one awesome DIVA
I challenge us all to focus more on what’s inside and not the physical appearances of those around us. Teach our children to accept and embrace others. Help them to focus on qualities like kindness, generosity, enthusiasm, nurturing, understanding, accepting, creativeness, empathetic, open-minded, optimistic, etc. As they grow and mature, help them to remember that their external beauty will far outshine their physical attributes.
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  • Bertha Wilson

    I have an x family member that always wanted everyone to tell her how beautiful she was, if only she new how she was on the inside made the her outside look that black and ugly. I have always tried to tell my children they are as pretty outside as how they act inside.

  • This is so utterly true. My mom cared more about her outside appearance than her personality most of my life, and I learned that behavior too. It wasn’t until I lost my outside beauty that I realized how terrible my personality really came across to the outside world. I still struggle with fitting in now as a result.

    • Crystal – I must have connected with you at the right time because you are beautiful inside and out! But you bring out a great point that we learn so much from watching the role models in our life.

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  • I love your philosophy. And wouldn't it be a wonderful world if everyone cherished a beautiful spirit more than a beautiful face?Hannah P.S.Join the fun, submit a cute photo or funny photo to my website contest. Then encourage your friends to vote and watch the results to see how many viewers vote for your photo. NO entry fee. $2,000 of prizes annually.

  • Wow…I had to sit and think HARD about who first told me I was beautiful and WHEN. I don't remember it ever happening until I was a teenager and the person who said it was my mom. I didn't believe her because the other children at school had spent so much time letting me know how fat and ugly I was. They got to me long before mom ever did. It ruined my self image for a LONG time. But…I remade myself, BY MYSELF and I love me now. Thanks so much for this post. It IS such an important concept to teach children to love themselves and find their inner strength. =)

  • Great points. It used to exasperate me when my girls were little to note the number of times someone said they looked cute. I wished I could wear a sign that said, please compliment my children on their character traits and not their looks. Our culture is so preprogrammed that we focus on the wrong thing without realizing it. Happy late SITS day.

  • As a girl, I started dieting at about age 11. I really, really don't want that for my daughter. She's only 10 months, but I'm already trying to teach her to love herself. It's such an important thing to do. Great post. Happy SITS day!

  • It's important that we instill those things in our children from early on, but even more important for little girls is that their daddy be the main one to tell them how amazing, special & loved they are. Then they won't seek that affirmation in every dude that comes around, like most girls seem to do, sadly. My hubby is great at doing that with our daughters.

  • I am also amazed at how young body image begins. I was a teacher for 11 years and it always shocked me to hear elementary kids talking about dieting :(. As a parent, I try really hard to instill beauty from the inside.

  • what a truly beautiful and inspiring post. I'm just coming out of my teenage years and these words are very comforting.

  • Love this post! You are absolutely correct. Happy SITS Day!

  • I couldn't agree more! There's so much emphasis on exterior beauty, and too little on character. I want my daughter to feel and look nice, but it's so much more important to me that she is kind and caring. Happy SITS Day!

  • I'm trying to do that with my boys'. If they say something about some else I always say its not about looks what do you think of the person themself. I on the otherhand still need to work on it. I wasnt happy at almost 300lbs and still not at 96lbs but I do love my inside person.

  • I talk about this almost everyday with my three year old daughter–who has just started saying things like, "Don't I look pretty?" "Am I pretty?" "Do I look cute?" And I always respond with, "Yes…..but remember what makes you the prettiest? When you're kind to others, you have a smile on your face, and you're nice." It's a mantra we repeat almost everyday!

  • "Help them to focus on qualities like kindness, generosity, enthusiasm, nurturing, understanding, accepting, creativeness, empathetic, open-minded, optimistic, etc. As they grow and mature, help them to remember that their external beauty will far outshine their physical attributes." This is my favorite quote from your piece. We would all be well served to follow these wise words of advice!

  • Great lesson to teach our children!!

  • This is such great advice! I see this as a problem, too. Children look at the stars and models in the media and they really have a false belief in what beautiful is. True beauty shines through from the inside.

  • You are absolutely correct. These are such important lessons to teach our kids.

  • Excellent words of wisdom!

  • Boy, I could write a book on this topic! It stems from the parents and how they treat their children. I'm also a big fan of the underdog, because I was one myself, still am. I was bullied as a young girl and mostly picked on for how I looked. I wasn't ugly by any means, but I had a very sweet spirit, which made me an easy target. It's hard to teach our children to be kind in a cruel world. A perfect example of this happened yesterday at the lake. Our 3 year old son is incredibly loving and outgoing. He says hi to everyone. Most people respond happily, while others ignore him or look at him like he's some kind of freak. When people ignore him, he gets a bit upset, not really understanding why someone wouldn't respond to him. So my husband and I just encouraged him to keep being who he is regardless of how others respond or don't respond. And we also had to explain that some people just aren't nice, nor do they want to be treated nicely. But I told him, "But there will be so many people that will cherish your kindness. You will, in some sense, have made their day with your loving kindness." Happy SITS!!

  • So true … It's so important to grown beautiful children – on the inside – and that loveliness will shine out for everyone to see!Enjoy your SITS day! 🙂

  • Happy SITS day! I try to give my kids confidence about their personalities and their appearances. Whether I want them to or not, they are going to have to interact in a world that judges on appearance. That does NOT mean I teach them to conform to those judgments. It does mean that I arm them with good feelings about the way they look (Things like, "I really like the shirt you picked out today" to my daughter or "Your hair looks adorable in those ponytails" to my son") I want them to feel like their choices about their appearances are good ones so that they won't be undermined by outside judgments.

  • visiting from SITS!

  • {Kathy} Parents should be the first ones to tell us that we are beautiful. That is a tough obstacle to overcome if they don't. Thanks for the encouragement to share with our children that their beauty within is the most important.